Why is it that there are people who exist to torture us emotionally? Why do they have to pull you into their own pool of dramas over and over again?
Isn't the one time that I've been hurt enough? Maybe the problem is I never really showed what I felt. I tried to act as if nothing happened, as if none of those things mattered. Maybe if I had allowed my mask to slip that one time he would realize how much the whole situation hurt me. Maybe then, he'd realize that I should not be subjected to this kind of torture over and over again.
I do not want to feel anything. Not even hate. Hate is such a strong emotion and I do not want to waste any of my energy on such a negative feeling. I wish there was some way that I could make him see the whole situation through my eyes. So that he could realize that in all those times that he has seen hesitation in my eyes, I was simply thinking, "Is it for real this time or is this simply one of those bad replays that I should shrug off?" It was never really a question about feelings.
Emo!
I'll just kick myself now.
Isn't the one time that I've been hurt enough? Maybe the problem is I never really showed what I felt. I tried to act as if nothing happened, as if none of those things mattered. Maybe if I had allowed my mask to slip that one time he would realize how much the whole situation hurt me. Maybe then, he'd realize that I should not be subjected to this kind of torture over and over again.
I do not want to feel anything. Not even hate. Hate is such a strong emotion and I do not want to waste any of my energy on such a negative feeling. I wish there was some way that I could make him see the whole situation through my eyes. So that he could realize that in all those times that he has seen hesitation in my eyes, I was simply thinking, "Is it for real this time or is this simply one of those bad replays that I should shrug off?" It was never really a question about feelings.
Emo!
I'll just kick myself now.
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