Sarita is a bit confusing for me right now.
She wanted something and, now, she has a slightly good chance of getting what she wants. Well, at least that's what she thinks. Maybe if she'll give it a few pushes she'll probably get it. But she's such a coward nowadays. Well, maybe she's reading into things too much. Maybe there's really not that much of a chance. But then, what really frustrates me is that she's not in the least bit motivated to give it a try. A bit of a nudge wouldn't really hurt ,right? But well I guess, right now, she's content with the monotony of her life and she doesn't really want to start something that she might not be ready for. OR maybe she has just really lost it. Boo!
Where is the girl that I love and hate at the same time? Where is the girl who'll do anything and everything just to get what she wants? Where is the girl who is ready to make a fool of herself just to fight for what she wants? What happened to the girl who is brave enough to face the world with the so few arsenals that she has up her sleeves? Sure, that girl was a little foolish for her own good but I miss her.
The girl I see right now is kind of robotic and unfeeling. Sure, she knows how to have fun. She knows her priorities and she knows where she stands. But then she seems to be so careful all the time. She keeps on thinking and rethinking things to the point that when she already made up her mind it's already too late for her to act. Sigh.
This girl makes me nuts. Chances have gone by and she's still clueless on what she really actually wants. It seems like whenever she gets to have a chance on something she suddenly has this urge of creeping back to her hole to pretend that she's taking her time to think. When in fact all she did was linger in the dark. I don't really know what she's doing there. Maybe she's waiting for someone to drag her out there by the ankle. I can't believe how much of a coward she had become.
But I have to say, I have to admire her for one thing. She really stood up for something despite the disaster that she had to go through. Though I know a part of her thinks that it's selfish of her to insist on what she wanted, I have to say that on that regard she really has come a long way. Some people might think of her as a timid girl who only squeaks every now and then. But I tell you, she's more than that. She has already been through hell and back. I know not everyone knows her story. She doesn't really talk about herself too much. But that's just really her nature. She'd rather hear the stories of other people. 'Coz really, what's the point in that? You already know who you are, why do you have to go around telling people who you are? Why not let them figure you out?
I just wish the a little part of the old Sarita would come back. Or maybe that part of her is still within her just waiting for the right time. But when will that happen?
Sarita. Sarita. You're too complicated, even for me. =P
___________________
Sarita after 10 mins. of thinking:
No, I have not turned into a coward. Maybe I'm just taking my time off. You know how last year was. It was the worst time for me and for you. I still can't believe how I managed to get out of it in one piece. I was pretty sure that I'd breakdown that time. But look at me now, I can still wear my goofy smile with my gums all out!
Patience my dear. That time will come, whatever that is you're complaining about. haha. And besides, you still have something BIG coming for you. Just think of that first and everything else will follow. ;)
She wanted something and, now, she has a slightly good chance of getting what she wants. Well, at least that's what she thinks. Maybe if she'll give it a few pushes she'll probably get it. But she's such a coward nowadays. Well, maybe she's reading into things too much. Maybe there's really not that much of a chance. But then, what really frustrates me is that she's not in the least bit motivated to give it a try. A bit of a nudge wouldn't really hurt ,right? But well I guess, right now, she's content with the monotony of her life and she doesn't really want to start something that she might not be ready for. OR maybe she has just really lost it. Boo!
Where is the girl that I love and hate at the same time? Where is the girl who'll do anything and everything just to get what she wants? Where is the girl who is ready to make a fool of herself just to fight for what she wants? What happened to the girl who is brave enough to face the world with the so few arsenals that she has up her sleeves? Sure, that girl was a little foolish for her own good but I miss her.
The girl I see right now is kind of robotic and unfeeling. Sure, she knows how to have fun. She knows her priorities and she knows where she stands. But then she seems to be so careful all the time. She keeps on thinking and rethinking things to the point that when she already made up her mind it's already too late for her to act. Sigh.
This girl makes me nuts. Chances have gone by and she's still clueless on what she really actually wants. It seems like whenever she gets to have a chance on something she suddenly has this urge of creeping back to her hole to pretend that she's taking her time to think. When in fact all she did was linger in the dark. I don't really know what she's doing there. Maybe she's waiting for someone to drag her out there by the ankle. I can't believe how much of a coward she had become.
But I have to say, I have to admire her for one thing. She really stood up for something despite the disaster that she had to go through. Though I know a part of her thinks that it's selfish of her to insist on what she wanted, I have to say that on that regard she really has come a long way. Some people might think of her as a timid girl who only squeaks every now and then. But I tell you, she's more than that. She has already been through hell and back. I know not everyone knows her story. She doesn't really talk about herself too much. But that's just really her nature. She'd rather hear the stories of other people. 'Coz really, what's the point in that? You already know who you are, why do you have to go around telling people who you are? Why not let them figure you out?
I just wish the a little part of the old Sarita would come back. Or maybe that part of her is still within her just waiting for the right time. But when will that happen?
Sarita. Sarita. You're too complicated, even for me. =P
___________________
Sarita after 10 mins. of thinking:
No, I have not turned into a coward. Maybe I'm just taking my time off. You know how last year was. It was the worst time for me and for you. I still can't believe how I managed to get out of it in one piece. I was pretty sure that I'd breakdown that time. But look at me now, I can still wear my goofy smile with my gums all out!
Patience my dear. That time will come, whatever that is you're complaining about. haha. And besides, you still have something BIG coming for you. Just think of that first and everything else will follow. ;)
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