an alien to this world.

"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."
-C.S Lewis

At some point in our lives we might convince ourselves that we are, indeed, meant for another world. Not because this world is too much for us but because this world isn't actually enough for us. As if we have grown bigger than this world and it can no longer contain us. But then after a few attempts of breaking free, of trying to find our way out, we then find ourselves resigned to the fate that this world has set for us. And our remaining days are spent trying to fit ourselves into the mold that was never our own making.

How ironic, as I am writing these words, a voice inside me is trying to contradict me, telling me that I got it all wrong.

Yes, I know, it's wrong to put the blame on the world. After all, we are simply victims of our own choices.

But then there are really just those moments when I am so convinced that I'm better off in another world. That this world isn't really enough for me, as if I've become bigger than this world. But then as I walk through its surface ,all proud and tall, convinced that I have actually become bigger than it is, I suddenly stumble onto something causing me to fall flat on my face. (Um! ilusyonada ka!) haha.

But you see, sometimes, it's just much easier to accept the fact that we are meant for another world than to try to understand that there are just some things that we'll never get hold of. =)

good night world!

pilosopiya ni sarita sorsya #1

I don't mind making a fool of myself if it would mean I would get what I want in the end.

Juan Antonio

Cristina: [Looking at a sculpture of Jesus] Are you very religious?
Juan Antonio: No, no, no, no, I'm not. The trick is to enjoy life, accepting it has no meaning whatsoever.
Cristina: No meaning? You don't think that authentic love gives life meaning?
Juan Antonio: Yes, but love is so transient. Isn't it? I was in love with a most incredible woman... and then in the end...
Vicky: Yes?
Juan Antonio: She put a knife into me.
Cristina: My God, that's terrible!
Vicky: Well, maybe you did something to deserve it.
_____________________

I really like Juan Antonio. I like the way that he sees life. Looking at life as devoid of meaning seems to be a callous thing. But then If we'd really think about it, it's actually the best way to deal with it.

Putting up labels and meanings to things inevitably makes us set some expectations, and very often, in life, things don't really turn out the way we want them to turn out. I think it's really best for us to approach life without any expectations. We should avoid giving it meanings that simply tend to complicate it further. Let's simply take it as it is. In that way we save ourselves from disappointments. And wouldn't our lives be so much easier if we expose ourselves to less frustrations. Why maybe we can actually be like Juan Antonio and end up having two lovers under one roof! haha:P

Aside from Juan Antonio's philosophy in life, I also have to admire him for being able to make his polygamous nature seem like an okay thing. In fact, he didn't only make it seem like an okay thing, he made it seem very romantic, in a twisted way. But still I cannot deny that every time he tries to woo any of the three women, you get the sense that he's very sincere about his feelings towards each of them. As if it's possible for him to love the three women all at the same time. He made it appear that it's okay to have them all. And instead of being repulsed by what he was doing I actually admire him for it. If I were a guy, I would like to be exactly like him! galeng nya eh! haha... Now, I really understand why God never made me a guy! haha

Catherine Earnshaw

This is the part where Catherine asks Nelly if she did the right thing in accepting Mr. Linton's proposal.

'There are many things to be considered before that question can be answered properly,' I said sententiously.
'First and foremost, do you love Mr. Edgar?'
'Who can help it? Of course I do,' she answered.
Then I put her through the following catechism: for a girl of twenty-two, it was not injudicious.
'Why do you love him Miss Cathy?'
'Nonsense, I do- that's sufficient.'
'By no means; you must say why?'
'Well, because he is handsome, and pleasant to be with.'
'Bad!' was my commentary.
'And because he is young and cheerful.'
'Bad, still.'
'And because he loves me.'
'Indifferent, coming there.'
'And he will be rich, and I shall like to be the greatest woman of the neighbourhood, and I shall be proud of having such a husband.'
'Worst of all. And now you say you love him?'
'As everybody loves- You're silly Nelly.'
'Not at all-Answer.'
'I love the ground under his feet, and the air over his head, and everything he touches, and every word he says. I love all his looks, and all his actions, and him entirely and altogether. There now!'
'And why?'
'Nay, you are making a jest of it: it is exceedingly ill-natured! It's no jest to me!' said the young lady, scowling and turning her face to the fire.
'I'm very far from jesting Miss Catherine,' I replied.
'You love Mr. Edgar, because he is handsome, and young, and cheerful, and rich, and loves you. The last, however, goes for nothing: you would love him without that, probably; and with it you wouldn't, unless he possessed the former attractions.'
'No to be sure not: I should only pity him- hate him, perhaps, if he were ugly, and a clown.'
'But there are several other handsome, rich young men in the world: handsomer, possibly, and richer than he is. What should hinder you from loving them?'
'If there be any, they are out of my way: I've seen none like Edgar.'
'You may see some: and he won't always be handsome, and young, and may not always be rich.'
'He is now; and I have only to do with the present. I wish you would speak rationally.'
'Well that settles it: if you have only to do with the present, marry Mr. Linton.'

i have a right to become a fan

The 1st New Moon trailer is out already!

And yes, I’m a fan of the Twilight Saga and (of course) of Edward, so what? :P