Bad memories have been haunting me lately. Often, I find myself deliberately closing my eyes in an attempt to block things that I do not want to remember. I do not want to dwell on them any more as they should no longer hold any significance to me. But, for some reason, they keep on resurfacing in my consciousness. To make it worse, I think they have become more potent as ever.
I do not really know what to make of it. If I had any choice, I would have completely erased it from my memory. I am at my happiest now but the reminder brought by those bad memories somehow manages to suck the every shed of happiness out of me.
Yes, I am being cryptic here. But even as I am typing this entry, I am trying to fight off every thought which could lead me to the dreaded memory I am trying to avoid. I do not think going through it detail by detail will be of any help. Besides, it involves sensitive issues that is not for other people's exploiting.
I know I cannot let it have so much power over me. After all, they are just thoughts, intangible and fleeting. I am BIGGER than my thoughts. It cannot bully me to misery unless I allow it to.
But maybe this is all because it is that time of the month... Either way, I want it OUT OF MY HEAD. Now. For good.
